::pack:: of fixations

life after tragedy. living while grieving. love and triplets.



I had an energy reading done yesterday.  It ‘twas pretty profound actually.  The woman doing the readings name was Jody & Jody really helped me.  I want to write this down so I have it forever.

I just wanted to know why?  Why do I get mean girled so much.  Am I attracting it?  I know I’m not causing it.

What she taught me I will try & explain to you now.  In hopes that it might help others as well.

She said to picture a flame burning inside each & everyone of us.  She said that even the very darkest people will still have a flicker.  She said that my light is extremely bright & that there are some that just cannot handle it.  Some will try to make my light not as bright by trying to hurt me, because they can’t handle my brightness.

She told me that I often dim my light when I’m around others whose lights are not as bright as mine, just to make them more comfortable.  I dim my light so they don’t try to hurt me.  But when I dim my light I’m only hurting myself.

After reading my chakras etc (I apologize I’m pretty new to this), she told me that I’m meant to teach.  I can’t recall how she put it exactly but she said that I need to let my light shine in order to step into my divine power.  She said that when those with dim lights are trying to harm me, my spirit needs to tell their spirit that I’m just not participating.  She also said that I’m meant to help teach those whose lights could be brighter.

She told me that Colum IS with me & that had I not ever lost him, I wouldn’t get to have him with me in this magical way.  That He was meant to bee with me in this way.  She said that when I’m allowing my light to shine bright & free from negativity, (& some other stuff), that that’s when I will feel him the most.


A few years ago after I cried for about a year from being mean girled by my in-laws, somebody recommended a book to me & I actually read it.  It was called the four agreements.  I’ve lived the four agreements unknowingly a lot, at least most of them.  I realized that when I lived this way I was my happiest, best self.  The four agreements are:

1) Be true to your word

2) Don’t take things personally

3) Don’t assume things

4) Always do your best

I equally love all 4 of the agreements & it really helped heal a lot of the mean girl wounds.  I learned that if I know I’m a good person, that these things are happening because of their own issues.  I’ve understood & accepted this for awhile now.  But what I didn’t understand was why?

I’ve really just been floating.  For years I’ve been floating not really knowing or trusting this side of myself.  On Thanksgiving I met a person.  This person I may never see again & has little significance to me.  But when this person got up to introduce himself to me I suddenly got really dizzy.  I actually put my hand up to my head because I got so light headed.  His energy was really strong that I felt it physically.  And this person talked to me like he KNEW me.  Not the normal way you know a person, but, like he could read my mind, like he knew my spirit.  This lasted only for a moment.  I had to go home & recover from the way this made me feel, (& cook thanksgiving dinner).

It’s been a few months now & I actually wonder if this person I had met had anything to do with the feeling I got, maybe it was just the MOMENT.  Maybe in that very moment, everything finally aligned for me.  I hope I don’t sound crazy, (Jody understood me completely).  But this very moment is when I feel like I stepped into my divine power.  I could see & understand the big picture.  A piece of that is that I needed to heal.  I had WORTH.  And in order to heal I needed to understand, be brave, & speak my truth.  That speaking my truth isn’t trespassing.  Stop dimming my light.

I truly wish my light wasn’t bright.  All I’ve ever wanted was to live a simple quiet life, but the universe keeps showing me that I’m not meant to be quiet.  So from now on, I will dim my light for no one.  Wish me luck!  Also thank you so much for all your comments.   Let’s all let our lights shine brightly.  Thank you for validating me❤️!


  1. I saw a Reiki healer late last year. I was not a believer but my cousin bought me a session. The first half of the session I was internally rolling my eyes and then something happened and it totally clicked. I am a firm believer now. I think it's incredible what she told about your baby boy. Definitely don't dull your shine/light. :)

  2. I am so happy for you that you've found this strength and inner peace. I have a friend and a cousin by marriage who are both Spiritualists (I call them for want of a better word) so I do honestly believe in an energy out that is out there but also within us. I totally understand what you've been told about having a brighter light than most. Keep shining, Kelly. I do truly believe you have so much to share.

  3. I love you. I love this message. I love your light. I have followed your story since the moment the accident happened (which was literally right outside my cousin’s home where we were together celebrating as a family)... once i heard what happened, I began following... and crying... and questioning WHY?!. I don’t know you, but feel like I do, because I’ve read your story and followed this case so closely. Don’t hide your light. We do the world no good when we don’t share it. So many others need your light, your love, your inspiration. Thank you for being strong and sharing your story ❤️❤️❤️