Most hours I'm calm...surprisingly calm and then suddenly I.AM.PISSED.
But I mean, for the most part we are doing really great. Ryan is of course doing much better than me because I think he's the best at most things.
I just don't understand.
I don't understand that his Mom got up during sentencing while I FINALLY got to read my pain. I MEAN WE ALL HEARD THE ONE LADY WITH HER NOISES OF DISGUST, STOMPING FEET, AND THE SLAMMING OF THE DOORS. I MEAN I GUESS SHE WANTS HER DAD TO BE OUT OF PRISON BUT LIKE, I DIDN'T REALLY WANT TO DESIGN MY CHILD'S HEADSTONE WITH CHRISTMAS DAY AS HIS DAY OF DEATH...IDK. EVEN 11 DAYS POST GIVING BIRTH TO TRIPLETS, READING MY PAIN, YUP, I HEARD YA. BUT I DIDN'T HEAR THE QUIET STEPS OF HIS MOTHER. QUIET STEPS HIDE FROM THE TRUTH AND THE LOUD ONES DENY IT.
I am trying to figure out how the hell I'm going to have the time to become an activist. I'm scared about juggling another ball right now. But I'm slowly learning more as I go. I promise I will try.
We are really happy! I'm like pissed cause WE ARE REALLY HAPPY. And like I enjoy being happy. I'm pissed that despite what we've been through we are doing GREAT, and now this bullshit is yet again raining on my damn parade.
I LOVE my job guys! I LOVE what I do. Hi, my name is Kelly and I love what I do. Ryan loves his job! Kids are great!
We have super great babysitters right now and I don't know what we'd do without them. #BLESSED #SOGRATEFUL
I know that I will learn from this. I hope that others can too. But I think that laws need to change.
So when I was younger I had this boy that broke my heart. It sucked so bad and felt like forever for me to get over him. I went to Garth Brooks and he sang unanswered prayers and it gave me the chills. I am so grateful that my heart has been broken. I can emphasize with a lot of women. I remember the pain. When I couldn't get pregnant I learned what that pain felt like...when I lost Colum... And now I am learning a new pain. I will learn things from this horrible experience. I can emphasize with other women. I feel strong.
This was not in our life plan.
This can happen to any ordinary person.