::pack:: of fixations

life after tragedy. living while grieving. love and triplets.


clarification part 2

*The first thing I'd like to address is the alleged cell phone drop.  At the scene Thomas Randall Ainsworth told officers that he had dropped his cell phone on the floor and was reaching for it and this was the reason he lost control of his vehicle.

Well during his sentencing it was revealed that:

 his cell phone was actually found in the center console of his vehicle.  

KSL is still reporting that he claims to drop his cell phone.  Why aren't they reporting the real facts of the case?  I'm gonna repeat it again just so you can hear me:

his cell phone was actually found in the center console of his vehicle  

was he just so high that the 'drop' was a hallucination...???

I know that if you are awake for a few days straight hallucinations can happen!  


He was driving 78 mph & his foot never came off the gas pedal people!

**Let it be known that when these accidents happen they do a toxicology report.  Blood is drawn and sent into labs where toxicologists test it.  These tests actually take 6-8 weeks to be sent back.  The toxicologists can actually pinpoint if he was actually "high" on Meth or not at the time of the accident.  There are active substances found in the blood and they can pinpoint his usage within hours.  It does stay in your system for 1-3 days after your last usage in a urine test but a blood test is more accurate.  


Why is this not made clear to people?  If you read the comments from yesterday's article here, you will read that a lot of people truly believe he wasn't even high.  This infuriates me to the core!  People are commenting that the appeal was approved because he wasn't high.  I can no longer comment on said article apparently there is a limit that I reached.  

He hit us on 12/24/2011.  His warrant for his arrest wasn't until 3/20/2012.  Why did it take so long to arrest him you ask?  Because the toxicology report takes a freaking long time and then they had to build a case against him.  We assumed he was drunk for nearly 3 months.  We didn't get ANY answers for 3 long horrible months!!!  Just imagine.

And remember this little gem: *His Mom called the prosecutor a few days before the sentencing saying that he reminded her she'd given him some Sudafed (Christmas Eve) and that this was all her fault.  So basically he put all of this horrible tragedy on her shoulders.  He thought he'd tell his Mom it was the Sudafed...cause he knows that there is an ingredient in Sudafed that Meth cooks use to make Meth out of.  His Mom believed him too.  

***The state of Utah had tried to rehabilitate him at least 6 times.  It was documented that one of the times he didn't show up for detox he told his probation officer that he wouldn't go because, "he didn't want to be in there with all the drunks and heroine addicts".  Many many failed urine tests where before taking them he said he was clean and upon failing them he would admit his use.

Here's my problem 6 times!  Yes, people make mistakes.  People deserve 2nd chances... but do they deserve 7 chances?  How about 27 chances?  After all the chances he's been given he still continues to get out and act like a criminal.  

****He had no insurance!  He had no insurance and it was never held against him.  To the courts and the law this wasn't a big enough deal to prosecute him for.  But it was a big deal to us.  Did you know that I used to have really great credit?  Now, I can't even look at it because I get so upset.  This effects us significantly.  I still owe people money.  I've lost count to how many times I've been sent to collections.  I need a knee replacement.  We need therapy, a lot of therapy.  But we can't afford it and we'd have to take time off of work to get it.  Ryan still needs physical therapy but we can't afford it, and he can't take time off of work to get it even if we could.  It's a hopeless feeling that we fight daily.

*****And lastly why is it that he be punished equally for being impaired on an illegal substance vs a legal substance?  Why is it that killing somebody while impaired is only a 3rd degree felony?   It may be too late for us.  But I'm passionate about making a change.

In about 60-90 days there will be a hearing.  I'm asking all of you for support.  I'm asking for bodies to be present.  I'm asking for signage, social media, and vocal support.  Please let's share ideas on how we can make an impact and just maybe get this law changed for all of us.  Please share!


  1. I'll be there for you, as I'm sure many others will be too!! We're behind you and support you and your family!

  2. It infuriates me that they give optons to criminals. INFURIATES ME! I wish I lived closer I would be there! I shared this on my FB it needs to go viral!

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  4. I've spent the last two days reading your entire blog. You are amazing! I've laughed and cried for two days straight. You've given me so much to think about. The biggest thing I'm taking away from your blog is hope. I think we could be friends :)

    This new development is infuriating. There is serious something wrong with our justice system. He needs to pay for what he's put you through and I don't think anything short of his original 45 year sentence is enough. He's already proven he doesn't care enough to not stay off the roads. He should not be allowed the chance to put someone else's family through what you've been though.

    I pray for you and for justice to prevail. I pray for you and the strength the get through this new obsticle in your path. You are strong and you can get through anything, but that doesn't make it any easier.

    Extra hugs and kisses for Finn, those sweet baby girls and angel kissed for Colum.

  5. I am pryaing for you guys. I wish I lived closer so that I could attend, because my dad was killed in a car accident by just an idiot driver that wanted to show off to his girlfriend, and only was in for three years. Because he wasn't under the influence he didn't get more years. Which I think is crazy. You killed someone because you were acting stupid. We got no compensation from him because he had nothing. But yet my dad had plenty of years to live and was cut short because of his stupidity. Anyway, praying for you guys during this difficult time.

    Lisa Shafor

  6. Kelly, my husband and I were there that horrible night. I watched the entire horrific accident happen and my husband ran to your aide. He sat with fin talking with him while waiting for medical to arrive. The guy has always claimed it was his cell phone but my husband didn't believe him from the moment he checked in him in his vehicle. I remember watching the suburban launch into the air and come to a complete stop. I think of you often and would be happy to be there for you, if needed during the trial. It makes me so mad that he appealed. So sorry for your cute family. Keep strong and know that there are many of us rooting for you.

  7. I will be there too, this is bu������ shiez all the way, he should have the fuc n death penalty or something,

  8. I'm just a follower, I don't know you personally but this makes me so angry! I can't believe that. I was reading the comments on the article and people are quick to give their thoughts on whether 45 years is too long or not, but what if he had hit them with no job/insurance/license/high... how would they react then? I'm so sorry for this new development. Hang in there!

  9. I've missed your posts but your are probably so busy its hard to keep up on a blog. I just watched the 5 PM Channel 2 news and watched the piece about the sentencing. All I can say is that something is messed up with all the laws and the type of felonies Ainsworth is changed with. I hope the appeal helps. I love the drawing of your beautiful Colum. I hope for all of you that Ainsworth stays in prison for a long long time. It's so heartbreaking that this is coming back again. Take care.

  10. My heart just broke for you when I heard this. You have been through so much. Please post on here what help you need and when you need it and we will join in supporting change. You are loved.

  11. I have followed your story ever since that Christmas Eve. I am so sorry this is happening and that his horrible decisions continue to negatively impact your family. I can't even imagine what you have been through the past five years. I am sharing your post on facebook, I hope that it helps raise awareness throughout the state and that he will continue to be held accountable for your incredible loss.

  12. Can we use a hashtag the day of to show support for us non-locals? If a hash tag gets circulated, let us know!

  13. I can't imagine living through what you have once, but to also be put through it again and again. I'm so sorry. Words can't even express the anger and sadness I feel about all of this. Even though I don't live close, I'll be right there supporting you in thought and prayer and any other way possible. It sounds like you need a good reporter or something to get your word out.. too bad Brandon Stanton of Humans of New York doesn't do something like that, HONY definitely would get the word out! *hugs*

  14. I would think someone would start a gofundme page to help your family recover from all of this! I don't know how to do it but would be willing to do it with the proper information. Not that money is going to help your sadness but at least you could try to correct your credit plus get your much needed therapy!

    1. My father was unconscious for 4 days after this happened. How did he say anything? Really?

    2. Ok so the more I see the sicker I feel.Life is a gift all in God's plan.Right?Nothing happens in gods world by mistake.Right? Than how can you condemn him so ferociously? Who is playing God? Just sayen

    3. Get the F*CK OFF her blog!!!! Are you KIDDING ME right now?!? Forgiveness can exist in the presence of justice. You dad/son/uncle whatever he is made his choices and those choices have consequences no matter what. I hope you know that God still demands justice. There must be some kind of payment and reconciliation for sins/mistakes. Whether that is in the form of person suffering in hell, or repentance and feeling Godly sorrow through the Atonement of Jesus Christ. THERE IS A PAYMENT and God demands that there are laws to be followed by everyone and punishment to follow for idiots who break them TO PROTECT HIS OTHER CHILDREN! Life os a gift and Ainsworth took it. In more ways than one. I can’t even believe you and your audacity. Just “sayen.”