I was suddenly thrown into my own labyrinth of grief that night over 2 years ago. I've worked REALLY REALLY hard and I'm proud to say that I'm no longer lost. I still cry on occasion but I am free of my dark cloud. I laugh a lot more than I cry. I feel strong again. I am happy, really truly happy again. I'm back! Kelly is back and she has freaking triplets.
I have mostly unknowingly written my grief and the way I grieve right here on this blog. On occasion somebody tells me "oh so and so started reading your blog", and I suddenly find myself feeling really self-conscious. My blog is raw. My blog is sad. I put it all out there. But this blog has saved me so many times. There have been a few occasions where I've felt judged by how openly I have grieved or by the fact that I was still grieving. One thing I've learned about grief is that 1) you cannot put a timeline on grieving and 2) everybody grieves differently...EVERYBODY.
I knew I would be okay, about a year into it I had this epiphany that everything was going to be okay. But if I'm being completely honest I never knew that I would be able to get to here. I am in such a good place right now. It's never going to be completely gone, but I know I've made it through the roughest seas.
|My little dollies are now 6 months old! They are rolling all over the place, and are constantly making us laugh. Holland, Wren, & Dale|
|This is them at their 4 month check-up (but they were almost 5 mos). They are all dressed down to be weighed and to get their shots. They kinda always hold each others hands it's so cute! Dale, Wren, Holland|
|My oldest friend and I decided to go skiing for the first time since the 90's last month. I didn't know if I'd be able to. As long as I stick to the really easy stuff I'm okay.|
|So Ryan and I got a sitter and went night skiing a week later. We were so happy he could ski with his drop foot!|
|See that little snowboarder in the green pants? Thats my Finn! He wants to snowboard and I'm not even kidding I totally cried when Ry and I were able to go and spy on him during his lesson. He's catching on really good.|
I promise to write again soon. Oh and I've also decided I really truly am going to write a book. More details on everything later. xoxo