...I didn't intentionally step away from here, it just happened.
The days turned into weeks, every once in awhile I'd think to myself oh I need to blog about this but there was no time. I received some sad news, some news I could've just left alone but I sought it out. It's okay, every one is okay...I just can't decide if I should share it here or not. I suppose that's what triggered my break from typing for awhile. Taking care of triplets and a 5 year old is exhausting and there are times I hit into a wall. But then, they smile at me and my heart melts into a puddle. They are honestly the sweetest babies in the world.
This holiday season was both happy and sad. I cried a lot more than I expected. We ventured out a little tiny bit. We went and visited Colum's headstone on Christmas Eve. Oh how I can't believe it's been 2 years since I've held him! He's now been gone longer than he was here. I went through bins of clothes that he wore as a baby. Bins I'd packed away when he was alive, items tucked away before I knew or ever dreamed that he would no longer be with us. I thoroughly smelled each item of clothing searching for any unwashed ones. His smell is totally gone now, it's just a memory now. It sadly makes him feel further away somehow.
Finn has told me multiple times how much he loves Christmas, how Christmas is his favorite. He asks me if I love Christmas too, and I just reply with a simple yes. We managed to put up lights on our new house and put up a tree this year all while juggling 3 newborns. We will forever try and make the holidays a joyful season and not let our sadness overshadow them.
Triplets are a lot of work but I'm trying to soak it all in. I know I can never get these days back and we treasure every moment. Dale and Wren (the identical ones) are literally identical in so many ways. They are both extremely happy and very chatty. It's pretty crazy to have 2 sets of the same pair of eyes watching and waiting for you to look over at them, and then have them both simultaneously smile at you upon eye contact. Dale is a better eater and Wren takes some coaxing. Sometimes Wren and I have to have a good 5-10 minute chat before she will eat at all. Sometimes Ryan or somebody else besides me has to feed her so she will stop chatting and eat at all. It makes me laugh because this is the first difference I've noticed between having girls and boys. Dale is extremely patient and so so sweet. She rarely cries and is frequently the last one to eat.
Holland. Oh Holland. She definitely walks/sleeps/eats to the beat of her own drum. She is by far held the most and requires the most attention. She's feisty, has a temper, and is lil' miss sassy pants. She didn't smile for a few weeks after Wren and Dale and I sorta assumed she was the grumpy one. But she's caught right up to her sisters. She has big eyes, olive skin, and chubby cheeks. Instead of cooing like her sisters she grunts and growls. If you put her down and she begins to cry; you pick her up, you don't mess around...this girl goes from 0-60 in seconds flat and it can take hours to calm her down.
Dale and Wren are nearly impossible to tell apart. All three have their own cribs and we never mix them up. When I'm holding Wren or Dale I think they seem totally different but I'd never really tested myself. Ryan and I take turns getting up during the night with the babies and one early morning Dale woke up around 3 or 4am and I fed her and then she fell asleep in her swing (the other two were still in their cribs). Around 8am I got up and Ryan had fed all three and Wren was crying in her crib and so I got her up to feed her. About half way through the feeding it hit me, this isn't Wren, this is Dale. They were dressed the same but Dale still had remnants of the yellow toe nail polish on her toes. I checked and sure enough it was Dale. He actually did the same thing the next day and I caught it again! So, I'm proud to say that I their Mother can tell them apart...sometimes it takes me a minute or ten but I can do it.
|Holland, Wren, and Dale <3 3.5 mos|
|Finn wanted to be swaddled. Or maybe we just wanted to swaddle him.|
|My beautiful Holland. Always has to be held.|
|Holland, Wren, and Dale after the first time they all slept through the night. Hasn't really happened since though.|
|Visiting Colum on Christmas Eve. Somebody put a stuffed animal there for him <3|
Miss you Baby!