::pack:: of fixations

life after tragedy. living while grieving. love and triplets.


Mele Kalikimaka

 No, I'm not going to Hawaii for Christmas.  But my dear friend Angela is decorating a tree for The Festival of Trees in Colum's name.  It will have a Mele Kalikimaka theme with a touch of Toy Story ::tears::

I've never been to the festival, but cannot wait to go this year and see his tree.  I think it will become a new family tradition of ours for years to come.  So if you are local and planning on going please keep an eye out for our special tree...although all the trees there are special.

A big special thank you to my friend Angela and all who are involved in helping her!  She's just one of those incredibly beautiful people who never stops giving and doing things for others and we are so lucky to know her & call her our friend.  In fact, we've met a whole lot of beautiful people over the last couple years.


The girls are doing great!  They are growing and healthy and perfect.  We are oh so busy and exhausted but are loving every minute of it.  About twice a week I text Ryan "Dude, we are doing triplets!".  I mean who has triplets?  I do.  They are now smiling and cooing all the time.  It's looking like they will all be blessed with dark eyelashes (luckies), and button noses.  

We are hunkered down for the winter, we are only taking them out for Dr appts.  And let me just tell you what an adventure those Dr appts are!  They are now weighing:

Holland 8lbs 5oz
Dale 8lbs 3oz
Wren 8lbs 1 oz

For the most part they all just graze (1-3oz) all day long and most of the time they just take short cat naps during the day.  When there are 3 babies doing this it can get quite difficult and in my opinion impossible to do alone.  So far there is no schedule in sight and according to their pediatrician we are probably about 6-10 weeks away from that because they are preemies.  Thankfully, I have a lot of really great friends, family, and neighbors here to help me and I'm only alone in the morning from about 5:30-8:30am.   

The nights are a little unpredictable still, but sometimes they sleep until 4am.  Holland definitely dances to the beat of her own drum and fusses every night starting around dinner time until she loses the fight of finally going to sleep.  This reminds us a lot of Colum.  She can be quite the pill, but a beautiful pill at that.  

Sometimes it breaks my heart when I've just got done feeding/burping one baby, and I have to hurry and get to the next.  I cherish the moments when the bottles are all washed, the laundry is folded, at least one baby is napping and I can cherish a quiet moment and snuggle one of them at a time.  

Dale and I post trick-or-treating

This woman right here is my beautiful Mother-in-Law.  She took time off of work and lived here for 6 weeks.  She refused to miss one night time feeding and I honestly don't think I would've made it without her.  Thank you JoAnn!

First pic of Wren smiling!

Finn and his BFF Tyler post trick-or-treating.  Had such a fun Halloween this year!

A,B,&C.  Holland, Wren, and Dale.  They were all awake.  It was safe to lay them all on our bed because all 3 of them had spit up their bottles.  It was a moment that I have often of holy cow I have triplets!  We also discovered a huge resemblance to my (late) brother Ryan and Wren...well my Mom did.  He would be about 45 yrs old and I'm still waiting on pictures because it's unbelievable!  I love stuff like that. And yup all my bedding doesn't match and I don't really stage photos fyi.

Lots and lots and lots of this going on...<3

Finn and his Great Grandma Jacob, my Grandma on her 90th Birthday!  Ry and I's last living grandparent.  When she's been shown pictures of the girls, she points and Holland and says that's a Jacob. :)


Holland.  her cheeks!

Dale Jane.  Not the best smile pic, considering she is the smiliest lately.


Colum Soup

I somehow managed to make dinner yesterday and it was "Colum soup".  I posted a picture when I made it last year here.  It's butternut squash and turnip soup and you can find the recipe here.  I had a little bit of trouble finding this recipe this time and remembered I went off a lot of the comments in the past.  So just to make sure it was the right one I scrolled through them.  My heart skipped a beat and my eyes swelled up with tears when I read my very own comment from 10/26/11... two months BC.  

Oct. 26, 2011
Amazing! I added cream cheese and pureed it. We ate it with rosemary bread. My 3 and 1 year old even loved it!

I of course don't remember commenting but  the second time I made this soup I added way too much cayenne pepper and it was even a little too spicy for both Ryan and I, but Colum, he still just ate it right up.  I can still picture him eating and loving this soup.  I never measure the vegetables and make a huge batch.  I add cream cheese and puree it, it always seems a little bit more fancy that way.
I'm getting super excited for the holidays!  One of my favorite movies is The Family Stone.  Diane Keaton stars in it and her name is Sybil...a top contender in the triplet name department (my Grandma's name).  Anyhoo, in the movie there's a very special picture of the Mother (Diane/Sybil) holding one of her newborn babies in black and white given as a Christmas gift.  My talented friend Janika came to the hospital and shot some beautiful pictures of my daughters and I...and the boys of course.  Kinda reminded me of that movie and how special these pictures will be for years to come.

This is my favorite (family stone) picture.

Only real men can swaddle well ;)

love this