::pack:: of fixations

life after tragedy. living while grieving. love and triplets.


Mele Kalikimaka

 No, I'm not going to Hawaii for Christmas.  But my dear friend Angela is decorating a tree for The Festival of Trees in Colum's name.  It will have a Mele Kalikimaka theme with a touch of Toy Story ::tears::

I've never been to the festival, but cannot wait to go this year and see his tree.  I think it will become a new family tradition of ours for years to come.  So if you are local and planning on going please keep an eye out for our special tree...although all the trees there are special.

A big special thank you to my friend Angela and all who are involved in helping her!  She's just one of those incredibly beautiful people who never stops giving and doing things for others and we are so lucky to know her & call her our friend.  In fact, we've met a whole lot of beautiful people over the last couple years.


The girls are doing great!  They are growing and healthy and perfect.  We are oh so busy and exhausted but are loving every minute of it.  About twice a week I text Ryan "Dude, we are doing triplets!".  I mean who has triplets?  I do.  They are now smiling and cooing all the time.  It's looking like they will all be blessed with dark eyelashes (luckies), and button noses.  

We are hunkered down for the winter, we are only taking them out for Dr appts.  And let me just tell you what an adventure those Dr appts are!  They are now weighing:

Holland 8lbs 5oz
Dale 8lbs 3oz
Wren 8lbs 1 oz

For the most part they all just graze (1-3oz) all day long and most of the time they just take short cat naps during the day.  When there are 3 babies doing this it can get quite difficult and in my opinion impossible to do alone.  So far there is no schedule in sight and according to their pediatrician we are probably about 6-10 weeks away from that because they are preemies.  Thankfully, I have a lot of really great friends, family, and neighbors here to help me and I'm only alone in the morning from about 5:30-8:30am.   

The nights are a little unpredictable still, but sometimes they sleep until 4am.  Holland definitely dances to the beat of her own drum and fusses every night starting around dinner time until she loses the fight of finally going to sleep.  This reminds us a lot of Colum.  She can be quite the pill, but a beautiful pill at that.  

Sometimes it breaks my heart when I've just got done feeding/burping one baby, and I have to hurry and get to the next.  I cherish the moments when the bottles are all washed, the laundry is folded, at least one baby is napping and I can cherish a quiet moment and snuggle one of them at a time.  

Dale and I post trick-or-treating

This woman right here is my beautiful Mother-in-Law.  She took time off of work and lived here for 6 weeks.  She refused to miss one night time feeding and I honestly don't think I would've made it without her.  Thank you JoAnn!

First pic of Wren smiling!

Finn and his BFF Tyler post trick-or-treating.  Had such a fun Halloween this year!

A,B,&C.  Holland, Wren, and Dale.  They were all awake.  It was safe to lay them all on our bed because all 3 of them had spit up their bottles.  It was a moment that I have often of holy cow I have triplets!  We also discovered a huge resemblance to my (late) brother Ryan and Wren...well my Mom did.  He would be about 45 yrs old and I'm still waiting on pictures because it's unbelievable!  I love stuff like that. And yup all my bedding doesn't match and I don't really stage photos fyi.

Lots and lots and lots of this going on...<3

Finn and his Great Grandma Jacob, my Grandma on her 90th Birthday!  Ry and I's last living grandparent.  When she's been shown pictures of the girls, she points and Holland and says that's a Jacob. :)


Holland.  her cheeks!

Dale Jane.  Not the best smile pic, considering she is the smiliest lately.


  1. I just love reading your post! It makes me smile looking at those beautiful babies! What a blessing your mother in law is and all the joy these babies have brought to everyone in your family! I love your house,, I just know that little dove is looking down on his family smiling from ear to ear so pleased with his mommy and daddy. You are an inspiration, I hope to meet you some day. Love from Colorado

  2. Just look at all that personality, already! It's amazing and so adorable. Yes, you will see hints of many family members in that trio, but they will be their own unique selves, too. Thanks so much for posting, I cannot imagine how you found the time. This truly is a Thanksgiving you never could've predicted. So happy for you all...

  3. Thank you for taking the time to update. The girls are looking totally adorable. As is Finn. And the fact you are upright is a credit to you. Be proud of yourself!

  4. They are absolutely precious! Seriously! I'm so unbelievably happy for you and your sweet family, after all that y'all have been through. I love how you capture the joy in your family while you also never, ever leave out Colum! It's a healthy, happy balance, and I'm so proud of you for making it to the point you are at today. God bless you and your family!

  5. I cant get over how amazingly beautiful they are.
    I mean, angels!!
    What wonderful blessings the girls are.
    I hope you have a fantastic Thanksgiving.

  6. Thank you for taking time out of your busy days to share with all of us. I love the picture (and your comment) about your mother-in-law and the picture of Finn and his Great Grandma. What a blessing on all counts! Enjoy making memories! Gail

  7. Wren looks so much like my Eva did. I'm going to enjoy watching her grow up.

  8. Such beautiful babies! And thanks for the heads up on Colum's tree at the festival of trees. This is a regular tradition for our family and I can't wait to see his tree and gear myself up so I don't cry like a baby even though I regularly tear up every year, it's such a cool event. You may not know me but your a practical celebrity to me and in all the best ways:-). Merry Christmas to you and your beautiful family and thanks for the peek into your life.

  9. I am so happy to hear you had such help in the first weeks, your MIL is a saint :) The kids are all so gorgeous and I love seeing pics of them. Busy days for you, I am a mom of twins and when they were born my son was 4.5. I imagine you are crazy busy! As crazy as it was it remains one of the best times of my life :)

  10. Oh my ovaries! These babies are so beautiful!!! They are still so tiny! Please send me your mailing address:) to seb3244@gmail.com

  11. Your family is beauuutiful!! The Festival of Trees is such a wonderful event with the proceeds going to PCMC. I love going to see the trees and many are dedicated to amazing people. Angela is an angel for wanting to do a tree to honor your Colum. Your babies are growing fast and they are so dang cute.

  12. I was at the festival of trees tonight and looked for Colum's tree. I was sad I could not find it, but it was so crowded and hard to see. Do you know if it is small or large tree? I might head back up on Friday to browse again. Post a pic when you get one of his tree...I'm sure it is amazing and soooooo special.

  13. I did the same...I checked at information but no luck. Either way coming here is going to be a tradition for me...such a great cause.

  14. It is located at the northern end of the building. It is located in the small trees, but just as beautiful as all of the other trees, big or small, there. There is a picture of Colum next to the tree.

  15. Have you been on the triplet boards to ask about scheduling? I've got to tell you, your doctor doesn't know what he is taking about with scheduling triplets. I also had 36 weekers and they were on an eating schedule from the minute they came home. All the kids who had NICU time left the NICU on an eating schedule. Now naps, they take a while. Grazing was blatently not allowed in my house because I would never, ever, ever do it. They ate every 3 or 4 hours. Period. It didn't hurt them at bit. If I were you I would pick a time to start, feed them, and then do it again in 3 hours. Yes, they will hate you for a day, but babies are smart. They will quickly adjust to eating on time and you won't be feeding every single minute. Grazing triplets sounds like torture to me. I thought a 3 hour feeding schedule was evil and switched them to 4 hours ASAP.

  16. This post made me cry. Finn and the girls are beautiful. He is going to be the BEST big brother! The girls are breathtaking! I know that Colum is smiling down at all of you because he did such a good job of bring those girls to you. My heart just overflows with happiness for all of you. Merry Christmas.

  17. Your family is so beautiful and when you get a minute i know you are so busy with the holidays and everythingcould you post a picture of the tree that was done for the festival of trees, i hope you are all staying warm and MERRY CHRISTMAS..

  18. Wow! Ok so I just found your Instagram and now your blog! I'm filled with so many emotions going through pictures on your IG. Looking forward to following your journey :)

  19. Thinking of you and sweet Colum.

  20. Thinking of you and your little Colum today. Sending our love.

  21. Thinking of you and hoping all is well.