I get to prick my fingers 4 times/day and watch what I eat. I'm also to meet with a dietician early this week. I'm worried because most the time I just don't feel like eating and I may have to force myself to. I'm super high maintenance when I'm pregnant when it comes to food. Cooking completely grosses me out, so we eat out a lot. Something will sound good like Thai food and as soon as we get in the car and start driving there I get nauseous just thinking about Thai food. But usually when I walk in and smell it, it's edible. I get really excited when anything sounds good because it's rare.
I remember Ryan getting so frustrated with my pregnant ways when I was pregnant with Colum. Finn was at such a hard age to eat out with. He'd poor salt and pepper on the table and just eat it (he loved condiments) and make a huge scene. Colum wasn't as hard, he loved to eat.
Every time we go out to eat I look around the restaurant and try to envision my future family of 6, 3 of which are in high chairs walking in to dine. Most places have tables of 4 that fits their floor plan perfectly, all neatly set & ready with perfectly folded napkins... but when we walk in that will quickly get disrupted for they will have to push 2 tables together to seat all of us. I imagine Ryan carrying 2 carseats in and I carrying 1 while also holding Finn's hand. I'm sure our waiter will roll his eyes when we are sat in his section as we are busting out the bottles and/or cheerios. Some one will indefinitely be crying. There will be talk in the back-
you guys the triplets are here again.
what? there are triplets here?
They take up two tables in my section every time ugh.
And as they grow older we are going to have to keep track of where kids eat free and when, just so we can afford to go out sometimes.
But sometimes when I'm able to imagine past the fear of it all I smile. I am so happy they will always have some one to play with. One of the very hardest parts of losing Colum is watching Finn play by himself every day. I know siblings fight but those two never did. Colum would smack Finn around a bit and pull his hair but Finn could take it. I often wonder who Finn would be now if Colum had never died. I think he'd be less cautious and come out of his shell a little more. I think there would be more laughter and fighting over toys. I'm so excited to have that once again under my roof.
|missing this smile and this face hard this morning.|
|We were later told while we were in the hospital it was hard to get Finn to take a bath because he would scream and scream which is really not like him. I think it was because he used to always take a bath with Colum.|
|apparently I was eating salad for dinner that night.|