I'm still in shock. I've come to terms with the fact I'm having triplets but am still getting used to the thought of 3 daughters...at the same time. To be honest I'm terrified. I'm excited to meet them and to hold them but I'm terrified to be responsible for 3 babies. I'm terrified to be left alone to care for 3 newborns all by myself. Knowing that it's been done before gives me hope.
Girls are a different animal than boys.
There's a lot more involved; bows, shoes, jewelry, socks, headbands, cute outfits, and hairdos.
I'm going to have three heads of hair to do every morning not including my own.
They are all going to be on their period at the same time as teenagers.
When I first found out a little over a month ago they were all girls I cried. I cried because I wanted to give Finn another little brother, I was scared about how he was going to react to 3 girls. But after a few minutes I stopped crying because I realized...3 sisters! They will have sisters! It's going to be hard sometimes and perhaps the drama will be nearly unbearable but when I imagine my daughters leaning on each other and growing up close I smile. And when I broke the news to Finn bracing myself for his disappointment I was pleasantly surprised with his wide eyed Christmas morning reaction.
I've found myself thanking God that we didn't go through with the reduction daily. I cried and cried and was in a deep depression for the 5 1/2 weeks when we thought that's the direction we were headed. But the moment we decided not to do it, that very second the crying stopped and I've never looked back. Sure, I didn't sign up for triplets, but I didn't sign up to be handi-capable and broken hearted either. I'm terrified but I'm positive if we would've gone through with it I would have gone totally mental. It would have chipped away the last bit of happiness I've been grasping ever so tightly.
My Dr from the fertility clinic I went to has called and left voicemails a couple of times to see how I was doing. I know she was genuinely concerned that this happened to us given our circumstance. Last time we'd spoken I was headed towards doing a reduction, given the information and statistics I'd been told.
My phone rang today and I happened to answer it and it was her. She sounded sympathetic as she asked how I was doing. I told her we chose not to go through with it. How the babies are totally fine and in my gut I know they will stay that way. I could feel the disappointment in her voice. She told me she was sending positive thoughts my way but that she was scared for me. I thanked her for calling and hung up the phone. But minutes later my mind started racing with all the things I wish I would've said. I wish I would've told her how grateful I am that I didn't go through with it. How I was thrown back into the depths of despair with the thought of having to grieve more children. How the statistics and information she gave me I strongly believe...I now know to be wrong. How I'm a member of 3 triplet support groups and I've only heard of 3 or 4 babies that have passed away out of thousands....not 50%! How I've read other Moms of triplets doing their own research and proving the statistics to be wrong. How if something were to go wrong and we lost one of our triplets at least I'd still have two.
I've read that fertility clinics don't like to see triplets come out of their clinics because it hurts their statistics. I was disappointed that she was disappointed and not supportive and happy to hear that things were going well and that I was happy. She literally seemed disappointed and I can only guess it was because triplets don't look good for them.
I am going to work on getting a P.O. Box this week and registering somewhere and will let you know soon. THANK YOU so much! I'm going to need all the help I can get and will appreciate anything and everything. When I went to buy the dresses for the reveal it hit me just how expensive this is going to be.
Oh and names. I need names! If you have any cute girl name suggestions please share! xoxo