We have a ditch in our front yard that meets a semi busy street. I remember Colum would crawl straight to it. Turn around and crawl backwards until his feet touched the bottom of the ditch only to turn around and climb up the other side. It obviously had no water in it. We'd have to chase him down and bring him back only to find him headed straight back towards that ditch with sheer determination over and over again.
He always had us on our toes. We did everything right to protect him. I'm overly cautious and paranoid when it comes to my kids. So far no one's had stitches and before the accident no broken bones. Never missed a well check appointment and they were all caught up on their vaccines. Worrying doesn't get you very far. There are other forces that you can't protect your children from. And it happens in an instant. A normal day, when you can't see it coming. Your mind is somewhere else and suddenly everything is changed forever. You can't get it back. You can't just walk out to the ditch and rescue them. You rescue them so many times only to lose them; to lose apart yourself.
This is Colum's house. I think it will always be Colum's house to me. For the rest of us must keep changing and living our lives.
But whenever I miss my baby most of my memories will be taken back here.
To an ordinary day.
When things were extraordinary.
|9 months old. I love this picture with him holding a stick that kinda looks like a fishing pole.|