Everyday feels better. I feel better. I've been so scared about feeling sad for the rest of my life. Living each day broken hearted as my dark cloud follows me wherever I go. But, I'm happy! I'm okay. I'm absolutely dumbfounded when I think about where I was just one year ago and how far I/we've come. The darkness that surrounded me from all the gloominess of grief and mourning has suddenly diminished. My grieving process is changing seasons. Spring is here. The ice is melting and new flowers are blooming. I now can appreciate the beauty in the little things for I have survived the longest and coldest winter of my life. The path ahead of me is beautiful and I know where I'm going now.
I didn't expect this to ever happen. But, I'm so happy it did. The worst and most horrible life experiences can turn into the most beautiful; if you listen to your heart. I still have bad days, and moments where the sadness takes over me. But there's a difference now, the future doesn't feel hopeless.
I'm hopeful. I'm a survivor. I'm okay.
I don't compromise my heart. This horrible experience has taught me to respect myself and know my worth. I'm still learning how, but I've found that protecting myself and following my intuition is key for my happiness. When I'm not protecting myself, I'm betraying myself. I don't have tolerance for betrayal. It's not about bitterness or hate; it's about being healthy. It's about trusting yourself because you know who you are. I survived this year, and I am only going to be stronger.
Thank you all for reading and all of your kind comments over this past year. I hope you all are finding yourselves in a good place surrounded by people you love. You have taught me so much and I thank you!
P.S. We will find out in a few days the exact date of the 'I heart Colum 5k'. Colum's Birthday happens to land on a Saturday this year (6/29) & we are shooting for that date. I will be announcing more details later this week. I'm so so excited about this! We will be needing lots of volunteers and I hope every one who's local can come. It's so nice to be excited about his Birthday and actually be looking forward to it. I hope it is HUGE!
I HOPE TO SEE YOU THERE!!!