::pack:: of fixations



life after tragedy. living while grieving. love and triplets.

7.05.2012

Rainy day

I hope everyone had a happy 4th of July!  We celebrated on the 3rd and 4th.  Stopping in to see Colum and visit his new headstone yesterday on our way to the party.  I teared up when we pulled up to the cemetery yesterday and saw his name with a photo of him on a beautiful stone.  I'm still so proud of us for actually pushing ourselves to do it.  "See you later, Colum" Finn says as he waves while we pulled away.   Last night our friends put together an amazing show of fireworks but as you would look towards the mountains you could see a horrible fire in the mountains in Alpine, where Ryan grew up. His Mom's neighborhood had been evacuated and the fire was close to burning down several friends houses that we knew.


While waking up this morning my room seemed dark for a summer morning.  And then I began to hear the rain fall.  Rain in the Summer has got to be one of the most beautiful and refreshing things.  The air smells crisp and prayers are being answered.  The rain put me in an exceptionally swell mood and after a very lazy morning I told Finn that this rain made me want to go to Zupa's and get some soup.  Finn said, "yeah, the rain makes me want some Dr Pepper and grilled cheese."  He for some reason associates Dr. Pepper with Zupa's it's something he only wants when we go there.  As we were driving I smiled.  This was the first weather change that my body didn't severely ache (knock on wood).  I try and take notice of all the good things.  Being in a hospital bed for 2 months and having aches and pains all the time, I wasn't sure I'd ever be able to just pick up and run to Zupa's on a rainy summer day for a very long time.  I'm so grateful that I was able to enjoy today.  I'm so lucky to have the cutest little guy to hang out with me everyday.  I'm excited that I continue to make progress on my running (10 minutes in a row last week, oh and I walked the entire 5k on Saturday!).


When I stopped taking my thyroid medicine a little over a month ago, I instantly gained 10 lbs.  Since then I stopped eating sugar and am eating very low carbs.  My weight fluctuates down a couple lbs but then it jumps back up when I blink.  I hate feeling chubby and having very little hair at the same time.  I recently found a new Dr that I love who can monitor my thyroid.  I've struggled with thyroid problems for more than half of my life and am very in tune with my body.  It's very difficult to find Dr's around here that primarily prescribe bio-identical hormones, which is what I prefer.  She said that I shouldn't have just abruptly stopped taking all my thyroid medicine, they should have just lowered my dose.  "They", don't specialize in thyroids so I place no blame on any one.  I just wanted my hair to stop falling out, was so excited to have answers, and was doing what I was told.  The moment I stopped taking it I didn't feel like myself.  I would just be sitting there and feel a panic attack coming on, out of nowhere.  I would get extreme social anxiety and was very irritable and fatigued.  My new Dr put me back on a low dose and scheduled a follow-up for 2 weeks.  I'm secretly hoping that the low dose, and eating no sugar/low carbs helps those 10 lbs to melt away....very quickly.  Having Hashimoto's Disease (my type of hypothyroidism) + PCOS = a very crappy low metabolism.  Usually staying away from sugar, even most fruits is the only thing that really helps me stay at a decent weight.  When I run 5+ miles a day I can eat whatever I want and not gain a pound though.  So here's to getting to a healthy weight, being able to run 5+ miles a day, and then getting knocked up.  Hopefully in that order.  Hopefully at lightning speed.  I think I may go watch something good and walk/jog on my treadmill (for the 1st time since the accident) since we aren't doing much physical therapy this week due to the holiday.


Anybody have similar problems and tips that help them?  


Have a good weekend.

23 comments:

  1. I have been following your blog since the accident. I did not know you had PCOS. I was diagnosed last year and have been trying to have a baby for 15 months now. It has been hard but it helps to know others are out there who are making it. I have a hard time staying away from sugar and carbs but I know weightloss would help me have a baby. Ack! You have motivated me to try again. I know I can do it. I wish I had advice for you but I still feel very new to all of this PCOS business and am not sure how to help. Good luck! I love reading your blog!

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  2. I struggle with my weight, I look at food and I gain weight. I have just started running a year ago, along with a higher protein, less carb, and no sugar is the only way I can seem to keep off the weight! I love Odwalla Protein Monster's, although they are a little high in sugar, I often replace it for lunch! It's hard, but you are awe inspiring! Thanks for always sharing!!
    Pam

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  3. So amazing it's been raining in Utah! I'm in San Diego, so I was surprised to hear that news when I just logged into FB! I'm so impressed at how hard you are working to get back in shape and start running again. I just started following you and Ryan on Instagram and saw that you ran a half marathon last year! Wow!! I am starting to train for one. Thank you for letting us follow your progress. I just love your darling family so much. I have struggled with hypothyroidism during all 5 of my pregnancies and right now it is still a little low. Acupuncture helped for me. And low carbs/sugar like you're doing. Trying to eat as clean as possible, avoiding refined sugars/grains really helps. Also, my sister just sent me this Doterra oil regime to help the thyroid. I'll be trying it if my husband ever lets us have baby 6 :) I'll copy it here. Praying for your family always.

    Oils, blends & products recommended:
    Oils & Blends: Balance, clove, Deep Blue, geranium, lemongrass, myrrh, peppermint
    Also consider:
    Suggested protocols:
    Hypo or Hyper thyroidism
    • Balance and geranium
    • Lemongrass and myrrh
    • Alternate the above two combinations weekly. Apply them directly to the thyroid area, the reflexology points on the feet (great toes), and on the wrists multiple times per day
    • Some also suggest peppermint and clove
    Nodules
    • Sandalwood applied topically to the thyroid area
    Symptomatic relief
    • Pain - dilute Deep Blue and apply topically
    • Tiredness and depression - Elevation, citrus oils, peppermint
    • Anxiety and irritability - Balance and melissa
    Consistency of application is important.

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    1. Thank you! I've been using Clove, Peppermint, Balance, and Lemongrass. I'm in love and completely obsessed with the oils! I didn't know about the combination thing though. Hmmm, I may have to put some Geranium and Myrrh on my next order :)

      Good luck on the marathon training. My body freaked out after because I didn't take any electrolytes (beans, gels) because I never needed or used them in my training. So just in case you didn't know much about them, I highly suggest using them. You are my hero... 5 babies! <3

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  4. I too have been following your blog for some time now. I don't want this to be a sales pitch or anything but I just want to see if I can help. I have a friend that also has thyroid problems and they eventually ended taking hers out so she gains weight really fast. She started a 90 day challenge call body by vi. What it is, is you replace 2 of your meals a day with their shakes. They are super yummy and have so many nutrients in them that they are safe for kids to even drink and pregnant or nursing women. I have struggled with my weight ever since I was in a car accident back in 2003 so I can relate!! So I decided to try the shakes and I have been on them now a month and it has really helped me. My energy is up and I'm not hungry but the nice thing is that I am getting the nutrients that my body finally needs. I have lost 8 pounds and it's actually has been such a blessing in my life and that is why I wanted to share it with you. I have been so impressed with it that I am now a promoter for it so if you are interested check out my website http://nicholeeve.myvi.net or you can email me if you have questions nicholeeve@hotmail.com I have heard about 3 people (one being my sis in law) that have started taking the shakes and have been able to get pregnant. All of them having troubles in the past. I don't know if it's the shakes or not but it could be. I hope though you get everything figured out with yours and that you can stop losing your hair! I also have always wanted to run but I just can't do it so I envy you for that!!

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  5. I have thyroid issues too, but I have hyperthryoidism due to multiple toxic nodules. What's ridiculous is that I have no symptoms...crazy fast metabolism? Yeah if this is crazy fast than I'm in for world of hurt when it finally gets under control. I'm at a point where my meds aren't working and either need a radiation treatment (no way!) or a thyroidectomy. I'm nervous about both and was planning on being pregnant again in a few months which complicates things even more. Thyroid business is such a pain! Hugs to you!

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  6. I'm so pleased you the change of weather didn't result in pains or aches. You certainly deserve a break from that. And it's wonderful that you're happy with Colum's headstone - it goes without saying that I can't fathom how cruelly difficult that process must have been for you - thank you for sharing photos of how it turned out so beautifully.

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  7. We stopped and visited Colum on Wednesday. I love his headstone so much Kel! So proud of you.

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  8. My little sister has hashimotos too and after struggling for years she found a dr that specializes in the disease... Dr.Humes and Dr.Redd they have helped her soooo much and she's lost 60 lbs in about 5mnths.

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    1. Are these Dr's local? Can you tell me what city they are in? I would love to see a Dr that specializes in it!

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  9. I have PCOS and a clotting disorder which make it hard to get pregnant and stay pregnant. I have had 2 babies since 2010 and I totally attribute it to Metformin because the Metformin helped me lose weight to start regulations hormone production. I started the Metformin in summer 2009 and was pregnant after losing 20 pounds in nearly 2 months from starting the medicine. I started it back up after that pregnancy and have since lost 40 pounds.

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    1. I also use the dõTERRA oils and use lemon and grapefruit 5 drops each in my water each day and find it gives me more energy and keeps water weight off like crazy. I easily drop 5 pounds a week in that alone. Good luck :)

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    2. I'm allergic to Metformin :( I'm so glad to hear it works for you though. It did absolutely nothing to help with any of my symptoms. I too do a lot of citrus oils. Dr. Hill told me that I need to do a lot of lemon to help prevent cancer from all the x-rays/cat scans I received in the hospital. I take it in capsules cause I don't love the taste though. Thank you so much! Congrats on the weightloss!

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  10. My sister in law has PCOS and went on Metformin and got pregnant. I also heard a gluten free diet helps with PCOS and pregnancy occurs after being gluten free.

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  11. This is not proven but I thought I would at least mention it. I read an article a while back about multiple birth statistics. It stated that the country with the highest multiple birth rate had a main source of yams and sweet potatoes in there diet. There is something in them that increases the hormones in a woman. The reason that I was reading this article to begin with is because I had just found out I was pregnant with twins, yet neither side of our families had twins in them. I was curious as to how it all happens so I was reading a lot about it. When I read that about the yams I couldn't help but to think that was Exactly why I was having twins. The month prior to getting pregnant that's all I wanted to eat. I was eating alot of them. Whether this is really the reason it not I figured it was worth telling you. I know every suggestion is worth looking into! Keep up the positivity! You really are an inspiration to a lot of people including myself! You amaze me with your strength. You and Ryan will most definitely succeed in whatever you do. I hope you get what you want as quickly as possible!

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  12. Hey Kelly. I love your blog and I think about you often! I've been searching for a Dr in Utah that does bioidentical, who do you go to?? You can email me if you don't want to post that info here.
    sfairbank1023@aol.com

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    1. His name is Dr Randy Lundell and he is in Spanish Fork. I actually saw Connie his Nurse Practitioner because I was able to get in, in about 30 days instead of months. So call ASAP and make an appointment. They take insurance and everything! I hope that helps

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  13. I think you're on track! I struggled with PCOS, and after a year of marriage I started packing on weight because I was put on a high-dose hormone/birth control. My hair was falling out, I was getting wicked migraines, and really, really crazy mood swings and panic attacks. I finally decided to cut the birth control out, started exercising daily, and eating little sugar and more whole foods. Over a year, I lost 70 lbs. I felt amazing and was so excited to buy some new clothes and pull the clothes out of storage that were pre-PCOS weight gain, and wouldn't you know it - I got pregnant. After 4 1/2 years of no luck and getting adoption paperwork together, MY Finn came out of nowhere! I am back in a weight slump (got prego with my Owen when Finn was 9 mo.), and have been trying to get out of this slump (Owen's 1 now). When I read that you're able to run for 10 min. straight and are just itching to run more after what you're body, mind, and spirit have been through, I know I have ZERO excuses. You're my hero! Good luck! P.S. Here's a link to a list of foods to boost fertility on "Living with PCOS" and it has more accompanying links!
    http://livingalifewithpcos.blogspot.com/2012/04/foods-that-can-boost-fertility.html

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  14. I have PCOS & Hypothyroid too...I wish I had something to share, but I've been struggling with different medicine to try to counteract the PCOS for the last year (before that I just tried to ignore it)...I'm just about ready to go in and see if there is something else...nothing seems to really help...I'm done having kids (4), so I'm struggling with whether I should try an endocrinologist...my dr. says to do a hysterectomy, my ob won't do a hysterectomy since I'm only 36...I've heard of the bioidentical hormones, but I didn't think my insurance covered them, so I may have to check into that...Hopefully we can all get something that will help us feel better soon...

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  15. My friends doctor told her to treat her Hashimotos with gluten free diet. Check out info about gluten free diet and Hashimotos and PCOS.

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  16. I am a mother of 3, 1 biological and 2 of my husbands - though I consider them all mine :) Everyday is a challenge when raising 3 kids, let alone when 2 of them are not with us all the time and have to learn to live in 2 seperate households. I admit, sometimes I do not know if I can make it one more day or one more fit or one more you are not my mom, I do not have to listen to you. But since I started following your blog, I have a whole new outlook on life and on my children. I appreciate their every little move now and understand how precious their little lifes are. I am so lucky to be their Mother and get to experience all the little things life offers. Thank you!!! Thank you for helping me be a better Mommy. I wish I could take away some of your heart ache. I have cried many tears for you and hope you know you are all loved!!!

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  17. Sounds like you guys had a fun 4th! Finn's cute...Dr. Pepper and grilled cheese. I wish I had even one good tip but I'm sorry I don't. I think I might get checked for PCOS. Now is Metformin a Doterra Oil? Sounds like you have found a good Dr. and that can help you.
    Colum's headstone is very beautiful and what Finn said as you were leaving made me tear up!!
    I hope everything that you're working for will happen quickly!

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  18. I saw Finn's cute picture in the paper for Grand Marshall of the kids parade for steel days. That's so neat! He is adorable:) Thanks for posting as much as you do. Your story is so touching. I HEART Column!

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