::pack:: of fixations

life after tragedy. living while grieving. love and triplets.


You better run

Quick lil' post:

Headstone has been designed.  I took a few pieces from other poems and few pieces from myself and wrote a poem that is special to us.  It should be up by his Birthday which is on 6/29 and I'm super excited.

I jogged for 7 minutes in a row this morning at therapy.  I would've kept going but they made me stop.  I think I probably have a crazy smile on my face while I run.  I REACHED MY GOAL TO RUN BY COLUM'S BIRTHDAY!!!  My Physical Therapists don't know what to think of me.  They aren't really used to patients with the drive that I have.  I know I wasn't told I'd never walk again and am amazingly walking or anything.  But, I'm way ahead of schedule and it feels really good.  I'm super proud of myself.  I just really love that runner's high!  If you run you know what I'm talking about.  If you don't, you either don't believe me or think it's unachievable for you.  To get fully 'high' I have to run about 5 miles.  So, I'm just getting a small runner's buzz.  If you are just starting out the secret is to just jog really slow for as long as you can, then walk, repeat.

We are sorta throwing together a small Fun Run the day after Colum's Birthday 6/30 @ 8:00am at the fitness center in American Fork, Utah.  It's not really going to be professional and you won't wear a number or get a t-shirt.  It's free.  It's going to be about 5k in distance.  You can walk, you can skip, or you can run.  We are going to have balloons and water at the end, so you can let go of a balloon at the end.  Simple.  In honor of Colum.  And the beginning of a yearly tradition.  

Next year, and hopefully every year I want to do a 5-10k run for Colum's Birthday.  We will run in honor of Colum, you will get a t-shirt, and help raise money for a good cause.  I want to do this to help give back and to help other families who are going through what we are.  I want to do this because we have had so much love, generosity, and support shown to us.  And I want to do this to help turn Colum's Birthday into a happy and joyful day; not a sad one.

Thanksgiving morning '11.  Ryan's 1st race!  And the 1st race we ran together... the whole family.   Colum totally held a graham cracker the whole way.
If you don't live locally then just get outside that day and walk, skip, or run.  If you live close and want to come then we will provide a link on FB (or something soon, I'll keep you posted) and then we will have a balloon waiting for ya!  Ryan and I plan on walking most of it... and hopefully I will do a little bit of running too (he's just gonna have to keep up).  

I just want to make it clear that this is going to be a very low key race.  But, if you've always wanted to run a race you can start training now, or make it a goal for next year.  Or just grab your BFF and walk it.  Have a good week!


  1. I love the runners high! I live in St. George. I hit a new longest run today, and totally know what you are talking about! I will run that day especially for you, and for Colum! You are amazing!!!

  2. Kelly, We have not met but I would really like to talk to you. You have been on my mind since that day and for some reason I feel like I need to meet you. You are welcome to email me or comment on my blog. Maybe this is divine intervention but for whatever reason I want to meet you. I don't know how to contact you so here I am. Stay strong and It will all be ok. derinharvey@gmail.com. dailydoseofderin.blogspot.com

  3. In honor of Colum, the runners/walkers ought to hold a graham cracker the whole way!
    Much love to your courageous family.

  4. I love to read your blog, always helps me more than you know, we'll be there to walk in Colums honor :) luv ya

  5. you're amazing and an inspiration.

  6. Your blog touches my heart every time, and then I weep profusely. I am so glad you still have Finn to hold and love. And every time I read your blog or think about it I hold and love my boys more.

  7. SOOOO excited. You can bet the Keddington's will be there running, and.....LOVE the holding the graham cracker idea listed above. I'm excited for your success. You deserve the world! My prayer is that you can hold Colum close to your heart with smiles on your face as his birthday approaches. Much Love!

  8. It's GREAT that Colum's headstone will be up by his birthday, I know it will be beautiful! AND you jugged for 7 minutes??? You're awesome! You can put myself, Colt, and Mackenzie down for the 5k! My better half will be working. I can't wait!!!!! See you then :)

  9. i live in baton rouge, la, but i will definitely run a 5k for collum that day. i have a son just 11 days older than collum, and i will give him graham crackers for the run, and we'll release a balloon as well if we can. all the best to you and your remarkable family.

  10. you go, girl! so impressed with your progress. love to your family. proud of you about the headstone. we haven't done that yet.

    1. Anna,

      Isn't it funny how hard and emotionally impossible it is to do? Yet you want it to be the best headstone and encompass everything about your son. I just peaked at your blog after seeing this comment. I'm so sorry. We should be buddies!


  11. Congrats on your running progress! That is so awesome. All your hard work is paying off. We will for sure be there on the 30th. It will be an honor to celebrate Colum's birthday with a walk for him. He truly has changed my life and the way I approach motherhood. Some days, like today, are hard. Is it really only 9:30 in the morning? How am I going to make it through the day with my two ornery monsters? I'm just going to love them, hold them, and take care of them... ornery or not! Thank you for sharing your sweet baby with us.

  12. First off, you are AMAZING. I knew you could and would be running far quicker than your injuries should have allowed. 7 minutes! I'm so happy for you!! I am currently going on almost 3 weeks without my runners high and I MISS it so much. Taking a break to let my hip flexors heal, which, like an idiot (an addicted to running idiot) I kept running through that injury these last 6 months but with upcoming big plans I know I have to let it heal completely. I go on power walks and bike and dream the entire time about how I'm going to build it back up because nothing else makes me feel the same way. That Thanksgiving race! I will never forget it and little Colum smiling so big up at me when I found you guys at the starting line. That day was the very last time I saw him. Kelly, I am so sad that I cannot be at Colums birthday race. We will be on a campout with my husbands family. I am going to go on the 29th though and will make that my first day to do some running again. Sending tons of love your way!! Your Friend, Heidi

  13. AWESOME WAY TO ACHIEVE AND ACHIEVING THE GOALS YOU HAD SET you are truly amazing i dont know how you do it honestly runners high or not i love it i pray for your family everyday. I know that headstone will be gorgeous

  14. Sending loves your way

  15. Hi Kelly! I'm just catching up on your posts, and I'm glad everything went well for this 5k! Kyle and I are excited to take part next year and every year after that! We're so proud of you guys!