On Christmas Eve my Family and I were hit with serious misfortune. I spent over 7 weeks in the hospital, Ryan over 4 weeks, Finn was traumatized, and we lost and buried our precious baby. Ryan and I were talking yesterday how we can't believe all that we've been through, how hard it used to be to take a few steps, and how we never once thought this would be in the cards for us. We don't constantly talk about it, but our constant aches and pains are always there to remind us of the accident and the most unfortunate event that followed.
We met up with the people that so generously offered to do a headstone for us. Upon meeting them we could tell they are beautiful people. I'm sure they aren't extremely wealthy, but they offer to help people out who also experience tragedy from time to time. We haven't met with them until now, I think we have procrastinated this last task that really makes it real. The headstone is going to be beautiful, we picked out the stone, I saw one small sample out of the corner of my eye and I knew that was it (owners wife's favorite so I give her full credit). Ryan quickly agreed, it was perfect for Colum. I never thought I'd have the task of picking out which stone I like best for my son's headstone. I also never heard of people doing headstones for free either. Thank you indelible Sandblasting you guys are angels. For more info about Indelible Sandblasting click here.
We opened up the mail a few days ago and were showered with gifts from people whom we've never met. They were perfect gifts custom made for us. The first package we opened was from the Vintage Pearl. Vintage Pearl, you couldn't have stamped anything more perfect on the metal you gave us! We wear them everyday.
Perfect...to see more from The Vintage Pearl click here. Hmmm, Mother's Day will be here before we know it.
We also got a gift from Windfall Dolls. It was a gift for Finn, and brought a tear to Mommy and Daddy's eye because we recognized this doll. They made a Colum doll for Finn to snuggle when he is feeling sad. Days later Bobbi, Ryan's sister uncovered another precious little secret on this precious Colum doll... a heart had been embroidered on his soft little chest, to represent Colum's heart that was donated. How much thought that was put into this blows me away. Thank you Windfall Dolls, thank you.
For some reason I can't post photos of this doll. Click here to go to their blog and see Finn's Colum doll.
The fundraisers are ongoing, we have had numerous donations, meals brought to us, emails from strangers wanting to help, and new friendships have begun. We got the official word that Home Depot (if you've looked through my blog you know I'm a customer), is going to gut our bathroom and make it more handi-capable friendly. We are getting a whirlpool tub, the tub we have now I don't even attempt to soak in but a real whirlpool tub with jets that we can soak our healing/broken/sore bodies in...aaaahhh. A new handi-capable friendly toilet (they are a little bit higher), and since they have to rip out the floor to put in the tub I'm getting all new tiling, a vanity, electrical stuff (basically only have 1 outlet that is up too high and doesn't work if the light turns off), and a ...drumroll please.... bathroom fan! This isn't going to take place for a couple months, and don't worry I will take pictures. Our friend works at Home Depot and somehow made this happen, thank you Karen! Not only is she helping us do this but, she has the most incredible style and taste! She is very creative and is taking my style into consideration. She brought all of her ideas to me this morning and all my answers were (hands to mouth), "YES", & "OMG yes!"!!! It's like a dream remodel. Subway tiles to the ceiling and she said she was thinking yellow and grey tile accents... ummm, this is only like my favorite color combo. All this with real live plumbers, real live electricians; and professionals doing it (we've done our whole house ourselves).
We have all of these angels and all of these amazing things happening to us. We are growing stronger everyday and Finn saves us from some very dark places. We met some of the police officers who are working on our case last week at the impound so we could get a few things out of our car. It was the day after it had finally snowed and so it was covered in snow, which was probably a good thing. The first thing they told us is that we should all be dead. The Subarban that hit us weighs 3x's our Subaru Outback and that it's a miracle any of us survived. I heard Dr's in the hospital tell us the same thing several times... they'd never seen a car accident like ours where people lived yet had no brain or spinal injuries. I like to think of myself as lucky. I will probably always walk with a limp but at least I can walk. 3 out of 4 of us survived and are home and went to see The Lorax today, which felt amazing. We are all growing stronger inside and out. We will always share the same pain, but it's nice to have eachother. People ask me if I'm seeing somebody. Dr's ask me if I'm seeing somebody. I'm not. I'm not on any anti-depressants either. I think they are great and that they can really help people who need them, but just not for me, not now. People are always shocked but the truth is I feel mentally stable, I just cry a lot which is normal. If you know me at all, I'm very open about my mental stability :). I don't feel like I need to see anybody. The truth is I'm less crazy having Ryan around, I love him, and couldn't do this without him. If you know him personally you are nodding your head because he is so wonderful and I am lucky. I have Ryan, Finn, my extended family, my friends, strangers, and my blog family really helping me get through. Perhaps, when Ryan has to go back to work I will need therapy :).
Thank you to everybody who has helped, prayed, or cared. You have made a huge impact on our healing and happiness.
P.S. I want to thank all of the Dr's, nurses, janitors, aids, and everyone who helped us. We were lucky to go to such a great hospital!
I want to specifically thank some people that were working the night Colum was life flighted to Primary Children's Hospital:
Tracey Webb, RN
Laurie Merrick, RN
Dr Don Vernon, MD
Larissa Kasarskis, RN
Dr Tell Bennett, MD
Aubrey Anderson-Patient Care Tech
Chris Benitez-Respiratory Therapist
and all the staff working from 12/24-12/25
Thanks to everybody who participated in Colum's care. The nurses who were in the room with us as we said our goodbyes. Whoever pulled the strings of bringing Colum; in his severe condition to my room so we could say goodbye.
Thank you to the ambulance drivers. To the people who stopped to help us right after the accident. To all the EMT's and Air Med for coming to our rescue. For every person I'm not naming that came to our rescue.... I'm sorry I wish I could name every single one of you. Thank you for stopping your life on Christmas Eve to help somebody else. Thank you to a male nurse, I don't know your name, who helped and stayed with Colum all night at Primary Children's, cried the whole way home, and then wrote a beautiful email on the KellyPack.com about your experience. It soothed a mother and father who were broken.