::pack:: of fixations



life after tragedy. living while grieving. love and triplets.

1.20.2012

Anatomy of a car crash part 6

Ryan was driving on Christmas Eve, Finn was behind him, & Colum & I were on the passenger side. We were hit head on, but I'm guessing it was at a slight angle because the drivers side of our car was unrecognizable. You would assume that the driver didn't survive. I was taken out of the car 2nd, Finn 3rd, & it actually took them 2 hours to cut Ryan out of the car. In the pictures I've seen of our Subaru Outback, the outside where colum was sitting looks almost untouched & where I was sitting not too bad. Yet, we received the worst of the injuries.

I have a lot of internal injuries caused by my seatbelt & the high impact (obviously, I'm still glad I was wearing a seatbelt though). My digestive system was basically paralyzed & On the 2nd or 3rd day I was here they put a tube (nasal gastric) down my nose to my stomach (not fun) to drain all the stomach acid etc that has built up. The tube went into a plastic container, and over about a 5 day period it drained at least a liter or 2 of mossy green fluid (this was during my very foggy days). I couldn't eat or drink while that tube was in. & it was convenient because I was in & out of surgeries & you can't eat or drink 12 hours before. I had absolutely no appetite but I was dying of thirst. I love water! I don't really drink soda, I always prefer water. Pain meds give you cotton mouth. They do give u sponges that have some gross synthetic sweetener taste attached to sticks, that u can dip in ice water & use to wet the inside of your mouth... But it's just not the same. They give you fluids via IV, but I was still dying from thirst.

One of the most uncomfortable things I've had the pleasure of experiencing from the internal damage is being bloated. My stomach sticks out as far as it did when I was 9 months pregnant, & I feel like I did when I was days away from delivering. It feels like I've eaten 1-10 Thanksgiving dinners on top of that depending on the day. When I'm not on NPO (no food or water) and I can actually eat, I can only eat a few bites of my meal because there is literally no room in my body... & I usually pay with additional bloat from eating those couple bites for a few hours. It's something I'm still struggling with & I hope it resides soon.

I believe when I got here I went to the ER, then the OR, then ICU, back & forth between OR & ICU, then the orthopedic trauma unit. Ryan and I were able to be in the same room on the ortho trauma floor. It was nice to wake up & cry in the middle of the night & look over & have him right next to me. Ryan was granted weight baring on 1 of his legs & was ready for rehab! The hospital said our insurance felt bad for us & approved for me to go to rehab also. So downstairs we went. In rehab you get dressed in the mornings, & they have showers (I still haven't been approved,just sponge baths... sigh). They put you on a schedule & in my case I get to get in my jazzy which is so wonderful to get out of bed & feel the wind on my face as I cruise the halls.

A few days into being in rehab we had friends visiting. Out of nowhere I started feeling really light-headed. The aid came in & routinely took my vitals. I had a fever of 103 & my heart was racing at 130. I was told they were concerned because my white blood cell count was 20 the day before & jumped to 40 that day, (normal is 5-10, if u get an infection it usually jumps to 12). We have a good friend that is a Dr & she said she had never heard of somebody who had a white blood cell count of 40 before. My bloated stomach (I call it my baby, my gremlin baby) felt like I was 10 months pregnant + 10 thanksgiving dinners consumed. That night my fever jumped to 105, I told them to take out my PICC because my heart was racing & that was everybody's assumption for the cause of this mysterious infection. They drew blood from the PICC to test it for cultures. It takes about 3 days to identify the bacteria & how to treat it. I lied there with my parents & Ryan that night thinking & feeling like I was going to die.

After 2 days of waiting for the results, my heart still racing, fever 105, 15 months pregnant, they told me I was getting CT scan. I was told to drink a liter of special & very nasty drink prior but was only able to drink half because there was absolutely no room in my body. My transporter came to take me to the ice cold CT room, almost unbearable with a fever. I was delighted to see that my team of trauma Drs were already there eager to see the results. After the scan was finished I could see the head trauma Dr(Dr Morris) through the glass window looking at my images. I could tell by his facial expression that they had found the cause of my infection.

To b continued....

16 comments:

  1. God bless you and your family. Our family is thinking of yours daily. May the Lord continue to heal your heart and your body.

    ReplyDelete
  2. I think about your family and pray for you daily. Thank you for sharing your story with us.

    ReplyDelete
  3. I have been and will continue to pray for your beautiful family. xoxoxo

    ReplyDelete
  4. Kelly, you have endured these terrible experiences with such exquisite grace. Thank you for being such a shining example! I am just proud to know you.
    ~ Nadine

    ReplyDelete
  5. You don't know me, but I first heard about your accident on Christmas eve. My son was texting a friend and her father, a cop, was called to the scene of your accident. When I returned to work after the holidays I learned more about your family and the accident from my coworker Kevin Davis. He told me about this website and your beautiful sons. As a mom my heart breaks for you and your loss. I watch your blog daily for updates, you are a wonderful writer. May you continue draw strength to carry on and may God bless you and your family. Thank you for sharing your heart with so many.

    ReplyDelete
  6. When I saw the pix of your car...I was a little surprised that both you and Ryan survived. So glad you both did and so happy to hear that Ryan is home and that you can use a walker now. It is probably so nice to get out of bed for awhile.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Bless you & your sweet sweet family. Your are in our prayers & thoughts. I don't know your family but as a Mother of 2 kids one of them your baby age, I couldn't even imagine. You have made me a better Mommy & your continued strength shows so many people to live, love & enjoy life. Colum is forever blessed with all of you & lucky to have such an amazing family. Through your unselfishness another baby gets to live & breathe because you choose to continue to GIVE such an amazing gift - the gift of life!!! Colum is an angel & a hero!! I hope you can find peace knowing you will spend eternity together.. In his short time on earth he has done more good than most people do in a lifetime! That's amazing!!! Your dear baby will continue to watch over all if you until you meet again. You have one very special angel in heaven! You have a beautiful family. Xo -Colum is so proud!

    ReplyDelete
  8. I'm friends with Ashli and have been following your story. I remember her posting on facebook on Christmas Eve then on Christmas about Colum's passing. I almost couldn't believe it. It hurts me, so I can't imagine the pain for you and your husband. Losing one my kids is my biggest fear. Even though you know they are happy, perfect, and that you will see them again, I'm sure the pain is too great for that to offer much comfort. You need your children. I'm so sorry. I hope you feel peace and comfort. I watched the video of his funeral. Watching you and Ryan hold Colum- I can't even describe.
    I hope you heal from your injuries very soon. So glad to see Fynn and now Ryan doing well physically. Your belly sounds so painful. I hope it gets under control soon.
    -Ashley

    ReplyDelete
  9. Karly Carter-MunsonJanuary 22, 2012 at 4:33 AM

    Hi Kel, just wanted to thank you for sharing your story. I become an emotional wreck about a hundred times a day as I think of you, Ryan and Finn. Your story.....every detail....has been both heartbreaking and inspirational. I am proud to know you and Ry and am inspired by the strength you have both shown. I wish I could do something to take your pain away. I cant of course....but am here if you need anything else! I will do anything I can to help you out so please let me know what I can do! All my love, Karly.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Hang in there--your Angel baby Colum is right by you, protecting you all the way. Sending prayers your way !!

    ReplyDelete
  11. You are an amazing couple, from just reading this post I can tell what wonderful people you are. My heart is full for you, I cannot even begin to imagine your endurance. Please know so many are praying and thinking of you and your Family.

    ReplyDelete
  12. Hi Kelly,

    I have written comments a couple of times before. I keep up with your blog everyday and I just felt like I should tell you about an experience my son had. Almost 3 years ago, my then 5 year-old boy, had a near death experience when he drowned in a hotel pool. The part I want to tell you about is how he describes "dying". He told me that it was very peaceful and he was not at all in pain or afraid. The welcome he received once there was amazing. He often talks about wanting to go back and wishing he could feel that peace and love again. I hope in some way this helps. My thoughts and prayers have been with you and your family since this happened. I am truly amazing at the strength you and Ryan have shown. You are an inspiration for many people.

    ReplyDelete
  13. I am amazed at your strength! I have grieved for your sweet family since Cathy posted about your accident. I am so sorry for your loss and I weep with you for your sweet baby Colum...I have thought of your family often and prayed for you and them! I know your heart is always going to hurt for him and I hope that you find peace. You truly are a strong lady...I am sure you don't feel that way but you have touched many people and inspired more of us to be better people.

    ReplyDelete
  14. I can't even imagine!! I'm so glad that you and Ryan were able to stay in a room together and be there for each other through the good and the bad! I'm still praying for all of you! Stay strong!!!!

    ReplyDelete
  15. You don't know me, but I am just bawling reading everything you have been through. I am so sorry to hear of your loss and of the physical and emotional struggles you are facing. What sweet boys you have! I live just up the road from your accident. I'm so so sorry. My thoughts and prayers are with you. Stay strong. The Lord will lead you along and He will be there to lift you when you feel like you can't go on. Lots of love...

    ReplyDelete
  16. I don't know if anyone has asked you this yet but what if any were Finn's injuries? It seems so weird that he was on the side of impact and lived and Column didn't. I guess you can know it must have been his time, and I know those words won't take away the pain or heartache you are feeling, right now nothing will. I had a friend whose son died from heart complications he was born with, and he died in the ambulance in front of the hospital where he was being taken to get a heart transplant, so although my friend's son didn't make it the donation of Column's heart is an amazing gift to give. She has always said that since he was right there and it should have happened, he should have lived, she knew it had to be his time.

    ReplyDelete